My sister is 35. She has 3 beautiful children and has been married 16 years (going on 17). She’s a nurse.
My brother is 34. He’s divorced. He’s a United States Air Force veteran and has recently started truck driving school. He has one beautiful daughter.
I’m 32 (33 in December). I have two bachelor’s degrees that I’m not using. I have no children. I’ve never been married.
We were all raised the same, by the same parents (married 38 years in November) but we are all at different “life stages.”
My sister didn’t graduate high school, go to college right after, graduate in 4 years, get a career, get married and have babies. Her path was rockier, filled with roadblocks and obstacles.
My brother didn’t join the Air Force right after high school. He tried college for a couple semesters, realized it wasn’t for him, then joined.
Out of the three of us, I was the only one doing what I was “supposed” to: graduate high school, 4 years of college right after, get a job after graduating. But then, I was laid off. So I decided to go to another college and found myself stuck in Florida.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I almost didn’t graduate in 4 years because I was depressed and stopped caring about school pretty much until my last year. And I also didn’t mention that I had no clue what I wanted to do the entire time I was in school or after graduating. I didn’t mention that saying “fuck it” and going off to a place I couldn’t afford, to get a degree in a career I realized I didn’t want months before graduating, still left me with a sense of “what am I doing with my life?”
And I didn’t mention that it has only been in the past year I developed a renewed love of writing and language and I now know that I want to make money with my writing. Did I mention I’m about to turn 33?
Vera Wang didn’t become a fashion designer until she was 40. Julia Child didn’t learn to cook until she was almost in her forties and published her first cookbook when she was 50. J.K. Rowling didn’t publish Harry Potter until she was 32. Sara Blakely was 30 when she quit her day job to run her company, Spanx, full-time. Donald Fisher was 40 when he and his wife opened the first Gap store. Alan Rickman didn’t get his movie star acting break until he was 46. Jane Lynch was 43 when she got her “big break”; Viola Davis was 43.
And you think there’s a timeline you need to follow? You’re upset because you are not where you thought/wanted/were told you should be at this time in your life?
Don’t be. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be. The universe has got your back. You are supported.
Remember there is only one rule to adulthood: parenting yourself. So this talk about where you are supposed to be at a particular age is bullshit. If you’re working and moving forward with your goals/dreams, you’re right where you are supposed to be. If you feel stuck, you’re still where you are supposed to be.
Have faith. Trust the process. Trust you are walking into your dreams at exactly the right time. Everything is going to be okay.
Don’t ever think you’re too old or too young. If others doubt you that’s on them. Not successful enough yet to your father? This is your life, not his, and you’re where you are supposed to be. Too successful, at your age, to your peers? You are still where you are supposed to be. (And they are where they are supposed to be.)
The problem is we get too much in our heads, especially nowadays, and think we are failing if we are not at a certain place by a certain age. It’s all bullshit. I had to learn certain things in order to walk into the next stage of my life. Any sooner and I would not be prepared.
Are you thinking, “Why are my high school classmates getting married and having babies?” It doesn’t matter. That’s their life path, not yours. The sooner you stop comparing yourself with others and stop listening to other people tell you where you are supposed to be, the sooner you will be able to listen to your inner wisdom and see you are where you are supposed to be. You will realize that the universe has your back – all things are working for you. Sometimes it’s hard to see but I know it’s true when I look back at my life.
I’m where I’m supposed to be and so are you.
This week’s featured song is “Rise Above It” by Switchfoot: