It’s my birthday today. I’m now 33 years young. Lately, I’ve been feeling a mix of powerfulness and powerlessness. There is a still, small voice within that dares me to step fully into my power but I’m hesitant to step when the way is unclear. I question if what my heart desires can be made manifest through me.

I quickly drown out those thoughts with distractions and procrastination because thinking about the next steps I need to take causes stress and doubt I’d rather ignore.

But as I turn another year older, I realize that this dream would not be given to me if I did not have the strength to bring it forth. At times it feels as though I could bust out of my skin and there are moments when I feel like yelling, “Fuck this shit!” and recklessly abandoning the life I’ve built to start anew somewhere else.

I am reminded at this time of the poem “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

As I enter into a new year, I want to step into my courage and I want to encourage you, if you feel the call to step into your power but also have the voice of doubt that creeps in, to take that first step into becoming that which you were meant to be. I am ready and I know that the way forward will be made clear as soon as I take the first step of faith. We must all take that step.

The problem lies when we overcomplicate things by thinking we should be somewhere else or when we feel things aren’t moving fast enough. We can forget that where we are is where we are supposed to be and that we should not rush the process. Instead, we should relish this journey we are on and bask in the lovely as well as the hard moments.

We can also forget that it’s okay to feel afraid. Fear is not an emotion we should run from; it is an emotion we should face. Running away from our fear only has us running in the opposite direction of our dreams. As the poem says, it is our light we are running from. Today I choose to embrace that light. Will you join with me?

This week’s featured song is “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield

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