“Don’t make yourself wrong.” – Mel Robbins

Read some of my older posts and you’ll see I’m a total Mel Robbins groupie and that her coaching has changed how I think and see things. During January/February she did a free mindset reset program to kickoff 2019. Because it isn’t a program you do on a timeline (you can go back to the videos any time), two of the things she kept saying to anyone who felt like they were behind was 1. they weren’t behind and 2. they needed to stop making themselves wrong.

Basically she was saying stop mentally beating yourself up and thinking you are a failure. Think about it, how many times have you defaulted to beating yourself up over something that has happened whether it was making a mistake, being behind schedule, or forgetting a promise?

We all have a number of things on our plates on any given day and balancing all those plates can become a challenge. Things we thought we had control of fall and shatter or other things arise giving us more plates than we can handle. We then make ourselves wrong and berate ourselves over not getting it perfect. I know I’ve done this.

What do we do instead of making ourselves wrong? Mel tells us to ask ourselves, “What happened (to me)?” Once we figure out what happened we can focus on the steps to get back on track – focus on what we actually have control over – and do the work to get back on track or realize we can let something go.

This week I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with my cluttered desk and wondered how it had gotten so bad. Having an organized work space (or home) makes me feel more calm and a disorganized environment has always been a sign that I’m not focused and mentally checked out of my life. In the past I would be upset with myself and think I was such a mess. But, with Mel’s voice in my head, this time I asked what happened?

Trying to be the perfect adult happened. Thinking I needed to balance all the plates happened. When I get overwhelmed with thinking I have to be and do all the things, I mentally check out and care less about being organized. That is, until I look at the mess and think, “What a mess.”

Instead of making myself wrong, this weekend I took the pressure off myself thinking I needed to do x, y, and z and allowed myself some downtime. I decided to put on a good show (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) and stopped thinking of organization as something I had to get done and changed it into something I wanted to get done. (And I feel much more calm and focused when I sit down at my desk.)

Let’s recap: You’re not wrong. You’re not stupid. You’re not an idiot. You’re not behind. Like Mel says, stop making yourself wrong and ask yourself what has happened so that you can get refocused on what you can control.

What areas of your life have you been making yourself wrong? Are you going to use Mel’s mindset shift and ask what happened?

“Gotta keep your head up.”

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